Hot Desk Summer ☀️
Where I've been for the past few weeks (months) and what's happening next...
Well hello! Long time, no newsletter! At the end of June, I posted on Instagram that I was taking a wee breather from The Hot Desk. In classic Sagittarius style, I’d massively over-committed myself in work and life, so some things had to be put on ice for a wee bit, including The Hot Desk.
In my head, I was only going to be away for a couple of weeks. Again, the overly-optimistic Sag in me was wrong. A wedding, a hen do, two jobs, a heatwave and a (thankfully speedy) bout of covid later, it’s now the end of August and I’m only just getting round to having the space to write to you again. If you’re still here, thank you so much for being patient. If you’d completely forgotten you were even subscribed, hello again! This is The Hot Desk, a newsletter about modern working life and the people and places doing cool things to make it better.
As I’m typing this, it’s the end of Festival season in Edinburgh and I’m over two months into a short-term contract. I last did a Festival job when I was 24, when it was a fun way to fill my summer and make a bit of money. It turned out to be one of my favourite ever jobs. This time round, I’m 30 and needed a way to pay my bills for a few months. If it was enjoyable too then that was a bonus. What I hadn’t bargained on was how much clarity it’s given me about my own work-life plans.
First off, it’s made me realise just how much I love working with people. Not just with the public, but how much I thrive in a team of interesting, dedicated and fun colleagues. I can’t remember the last time I’ve laughed so much at work. I’ve always had a fiercely independent streak and for a while I thought it meant I was made to be a solo worker. Really what I need is to feel like I have purpose and that I’m valued, not just a cog in a wheel. I want to be around people I can learn from and look up to, no matter their role or level in the organisation.
The second thing isn’t exactly a revelation for me, but it’s definitely been compounded by the last few months: I am not made for office life. Or, more accurately, I’m not made to be sat in front of a computer all day. Frankly a mad thing for someone who calls themselves a writer (amongst other things) to say, I know. Sure, this job has had its fair share of lengthy email exchanges and spreadsheets, but it’s mainly involved being present and visible, not hunched behind a screen in a dark office. The pleasure of problem solving on the spot, working with multiple different people, being in the thick of it and reacting to the ever-unpredictable events of your average Festival day has been somewhat addictive. I mean, I’m absolutely looking forward to getting some good sleep and a day off, but even just having a few weeks of on-the-go working has been such a high.
All the same, working at this heightened pace long-term is pretty unsustainable and while part of me would love to bop about festivals year-round, I also know that I’m not 21 anymore and do not have the same energy levels as I did a decade ago. So what is next in my work-life?
When I quit my toxic job at the start of this year, it was in an effort to preserve my final shred of decent mental health and self-worth. I had some freelance client work lined up and I was confident enough that I would get myself better and muddle on through, figuring out the full-time freelance life as I went. I wasn’t banking on the country spiralling into financial meltdown, with no idea when things would get better and a government who refuse to do anything constructive about it (though maybe I’m not so surprised by that part).
Things are pretty scary at the moment, and finding a sustainable way to simply pay the rent come October has been in the forefront of my mind. So, in a move that wasn’t on the cards in January but feels like the best option for now, I’m going back to being a full-time employee.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t feeling conflicted or even a bit put out by this decision. I feel in some ways that my hand has been forced, and also guilty for not laying good enough freelance groundwork for myself earlier in the year. But I also recognise the fact that maybe this is just how things have to be for me, right now. I’m doing my best to look after myself and money worries are perhaps my number one anxiety trigger. I also know that I am so privileged to even have the choice to go back into employment, to have had a successful interview and the professional experiences that led me here.
But I don’t want to hand-wring or self-flagellate. That doesn’t change anyone’s reality. Things are really fucking tough right now and beating yourself up isn’t the way to go. That’s what they want you to do, while they deflect the blame and tell you their hands are tied until the next PM comes in. This isn’t a political newsletter and I’m just an angry artsy leftie with not enough expertise to wade into real nuanced discussion. I don’t have any answers. I just know that I don’t want the current climate to make us feel like failures when it comes to our work, our life and everything in between.
So that’s what I’ve been up to this summer: changing the direction of my working life and getting angry at the government. Plus ça change, you might say. I hope it’s been a nice surprise to have The Hot Desk back in your inbox after a bit of a summer holiday. I’d love to know how your summer has been - have you been working/holidaying/striking/reinventing yourself? Hit reply and tell me all about it.
Next week I’m going down to London for a few days of working and mooching about, which I can’t wait for. A lying-by-the-pool-doing-sweet-FA break wasn’t on the cards this year so this solo trip down south is my holiday for 2022. Amongst other things, I’ll be doing a bit of planning for The Hot Desk, so if you have anything work-life related you’d like to see in the newsletter in the coming months, leave a comment below and let’s chat!
For now, I’ve got to get back to the last few days of the Festival and try to cram a month’s worth of vegetables into my diet after living on Sainsbury’s meal deals and coffee for the last thirty days. THE GLAMOUR. But before I go, here’s the usual round up of things I’ve been reading, watching and listening to over the last month or so.
I was so lucky to blag a couple of tickets to Kae Tempest at the Edinburgh International Festival last week. They played their latest album straight through from start to finish and it was just incredible. A stirring, angry, emotional and tender gig. I’ll be listening on repeat for the next while for sure.
This short piece by Bruce Daisley on The Hyphen looks at something I’ve been considering as my own working life changes: what is happening to our work friendships?
When it comes to podcasts, is there anything better than when two of your faves come together? In the latest series of Independent Thinking, host Alexandra chats to Ellie and Rachel from The Business Proposal Podcast, in an episode celebrating all things small business. Both pods are permanent fixtures on my listening list.
Jo Elvin’s latest newsletter looks at the creep of the ‘global edition’ in the world of magazines and how the consultancies brought in to cut costs are actually compromising creativity and cultural identity.
Pen Friend is a new Substack from Hannah Meltzer, a British journalist living in Paris. Her latest issue on la rentrée and why the French know best when it comes to relaxing and resetting ourselves spoke deeply to my autumnal inner child.
See you next time!
Rebecca
I was so excited to see you were back at the Book Festival and even more excited now that it was such a good experience! Also congrats on the new job. I totally understand how you're feeling about it though. I think at the moment we're all in a bit of a "needs must" state and getting a dependable income at a time that is going to be stressful money-wise is just sensible. You don't have to stay in this job forever and a million different exciting opportunities are out there for you if you decide you want one.